I’m so fucking sick of work and all the fucking rich arrogant people I have to deal with. The only good thing is today has been so busy I’ve only eaten a fortune cookie (with a shitty fortune) and 9 grapes. First day purge free (thus far, if I don’t count lax) in 3 weeks. I’m miserable.
So my therapist and I educated my mom about my ed today. Solution at home is going to be locking the cupboards and everyone will have keys but me. No longer food stashes in my room. Along with me making a list of trigger foods that I can’t be around for my mom and therapist to have. At first this was great, but now I’m feeling so anxious. My brothers and dad now know and I don’t want everyone to see me as a freak. I’m seeing a nutritionist and starting a self-help group once a week. Recovery is terrifying.
My EDNOS is hell right now. My therapist is having me bring my mom to session Monday. My psych is upping my Zoloft on Tuesday and prescribing me Adderall. SSRI + Adderall = god mode for depersonalization (apparently). Working 60 hours a week has become painful, but I’m going to be able to afford my Volkswagen beetle in September! Yay for independence and getting my life sorted out :)